Masks of Protection: Part 9

By: Stacy L.

As he approached Daniel he smiled softly seeing him working the comb through his hair as he gazed into the mirror. He approached slowly gently placing a hand on Daniel’s shoulder noting the flinching and tenseness within the man as soon as his hand connected with the tail end of one of his many scars. Anger surged as he could feel the roughened damaged skin beneath his fingertips. He swallowed hard before asking, “Did it…hurt much?”

Daniel halted all movement swallowing hard and closing his eyes tightly shut before nodding. Jack softly whispered, “I’m sorry. For what it’s worth I’m sorry, love.”

Daniel remained frozen before nodding a second time softly moaning as Jack wrapped his arms around him. His whole body wanted to buck against the touch, but he forced himself to remain still mentally reminding himself he was with Jack and Jack wouldn’t hurt him. Fearing he wouldn’t be able to allow the touch much longer Daniel started speaking:

“I ran away several times and always the punishment was the same upon recapture. I’d be dragged to the center of camp, stripped then secured sometimes with a blindfold, sometimes without. My hands would be chained above my head and my master would leave me there sometimes for hours, sometimes for days, sometimes only mere minutes. I knew what was going to happen. The punishment for running was always the same: twenty lashes, sometimes more sometimes less based on the mercy of my master. I remember being scared to death of that whip but no matter how many lashings I suffered I still would run away again.”

He chuckled softly saying, “I used to make Layla so angry with me…” and sombered as he continued, “But now, now I know why she was so angry. It hurt her Jack. It really hurt her to watch, to be forced to watch me being lashed, being punished for disobedience and she could do nothing to stop it, nothing but hold me in the night as I wept, as I moaned in pain, trying to sleep no matter how restless I became. It…it hurt her so very much to not be able to protect me from the cruelty of the lashings. I…I didn’t really think on it much when I was a child I just…I needed to escape. I needed freedom. I…I didn’t think of how it would hurt her, not until she held me and I awoke to find her weeping in silent grief over the child she loved with all her heart who tossed and turned restlessly in her arms throughout the night as pain became his newest companion…”

Jack softly uttered, “Ah Daniel…” falling silent to allow him to continue.

“She’s a strong woman, Jack, a very strong woman. She found me and comforted me…loved me…without her in my life… It hurt her so much Jack to be helpless to stop the lashings. The collar… Seeing that, seeing them work me like an animal, like livestock for running so often… It nearly broke her heart Jack.”

“You were very lucky, Daniel.”

“Yes very lucky. If not for her…if not for her…”

Jack wrapped his arms tighter around Daniel pulling him into an embrace and kissing him on the side of his head feeling the extreme tension in Daniel increase as he made the move. He watched Daniel in the mirror for signs of fear and tension noting how he seemed to be slowly relaxing in his arms before Daniel disturbed the silence once again, “This feels nice.”

Feeling his mouth dry up as shock and surprise began to surface Jack managed, “What? What Daniel?”

“Being held…it feels nice. I like being held by you, Jack. You make me feel safe.”

“But…”

Daniel responded by sighing and seeming to relax further surprising Jack even more. They stood like that for sometime neither speaking simply enjoying each other’s company before Jack softly questioned, “Who hurt you Daniel?”

“What?”

“Who made you afraid? Afraid of touch, of becoming close to another, of being loved by another, who made you so afraid?”

Daniel swallowed hard keeping his eyes shut before clearing his throat and managing, “My uncle Jack he…he did things to me…things… He…he…he wanted me Jack.”

“As a possession?”

“Yes but also as…as…”

“As what?”

“Um he…used to… He’d…in the night…”

Jack closed his eyes squeezing them tightly shut as yet another previously missing piece of Daniel Jackson snapped perfectly into place. In the night his uncle did things to him. God Daniel I’m so sorry. He somehow managed to force out, “Did he ever…penetrate?”

Daniel’s breathing became haggard for several minutes that seemed to stretch into hours and scared Jack shitless before Daniel answered, “Layla believes so. She said I used to have horrible nightmares. She called them night terrors I believe but in truth I…I don’t really know. I don’t remember Jack. I…I suppressed it all, forgot it. I don’t… I know he tried but whether he actually… I don’t know.”

His voice growing gruff Jack inquired, “Where is he now?”

“Dead. He’s dead. Killed by those who sought to protect me from him.”

His voice growing quieter Jack questioned further, “Is he truly dead Daniel or does he still live on…in you?”

Daniel squeezed his eyes tightly shut swallowing hard before answering, “I still remember. I still dream of…of him. He’s the reason I have so much difficulty with…with physical touch. If…if that’s what you mean.”

Nodding Jack fell silent choosing to simply hold Daniel close.

Daniel released another quiet sigh of contentment before managing, “I’d like to go to bed now Jack. Can we?”

“If…if you’re sure. I don’t want you doing anything you don’t want to do Daniel.”

“I want this Jack. I want to be able to fall asleep in your arms, being held by you. Please?”

“If you need space just…”

“I’ll tell you Jack. Please?”

Nodding Jack led Daniel to the bed and together they settled upon it. Jack wrapped his arms around Daniel firmly and Daniel smiled before hesitantly pressing against him and draping an arm casually across Jack’s stomach.

As they lay together in silence Jack wondered and worried about Daniel. Daniel was extremely tense and Jack was prepared to do anything he asked to ease his anxiety. He softly said, “Daniel you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

“I want to Jack it’s just…”

“Hard?”

“Difficult yes.”

“You don’t have to do this you…”

“I want to do this Jack. I have to do this. I… It’s going to take some time but I’m…I…I have to do this. WE have to do this TOGETHER.”

“But…”

“Jack, please.”

“But you’re uncomfortable and…”

“And I need to get beyond that. The only way to do so is to do this.”

“Okay Daniel okay. I just…”

“I know.”

Silence fell between them again and Daniel remained nervous. He prayed that he’d one day be able to accept Jack’s touch easier but tonight was proving quite the challenge.

“Daniel tell me about the ones who helped you.”

“The Littlefields?”

Jack nodded and Daniel swallowed hard before saying, “They rescued me from…from Master Lomax.”

Jack shuddered upon hearing Daniel refer to another as his master. It just sounded so wrong to his ears. Daniel had had a master. He had served time as a slave. He had suffered. Closing his eyes to silence his wayward thoughts Jack nodded prompting Daniel to continue. Picking up on the cue Daniel did so, “I was nineteen at the time.”

“Nineteen? How did you ever meet them?”

“They…they had a set up much like the Underground Railroad in the States. They rescued slaves, educated them and gave them a chance. I… Katherine and I had a lot of the same interests and… I don’t know how I ended up in their care. I think Layla had a lot to do with it. I… They took me in, treated me like a son, educated me, prepared me for when my inhertance would come due and helped me deal with some of my…issues.”

“How did they die? You said they were killed but not…”

“My uncle killed them both. You see he found me and abducted me, took me to his home… I remember him saying it was a shame Master Lomax hadn’t found me first. You see I was a runaway slave, still am, and when he captured me… I never expected to see him again. I thought, or rather hoped the bastard had died years before but no such luck. He found me, took me…trapped me. I knew I had to escape. If I didn’t… They found me. Somehow they found me and came after me. Ernest died first. He was…shot. Katherine…Katherine died second… It was…it was horrible Jack and I…I don’t know why…”

“Why what?”

“Why I lived and they died. Why were they killed? Why did I live? Why Jack? Why?”

Jack tightened his hold on Daniel who curled up tighter against him pushing into him as if he were trying to crawl inside. He felt Daniel place his head on his chest and sighed in contentment. As he felt the dampness on Daniel’s cheeks he began to gently stroke his hair silently urging him to sleep, watching as Daniel attempted to resist only to succumb to sleep within moments. Aware that Daniel was now asleep in his arms Jack smiled warmly as he held the man tightly and followed suit.

* *

He screamed as he heard the gun fire, saw Ernest’s body convulse as the bullet struck home and nearly collapsed in shock only screaming shrilly and struggling when hands began to grope, fingers began to probe and his assailant moaned in pleasure. He nearly retched fighting, struggling to break free, unable to turn his gaze away from Ernest’s now still form, another dead because of him. First his parents and now Ernest…no, no…

“NO!”

He struggled harder screaming in frustration as his uncle unceremoniously dumped him on his stomach before forcing a slicked finger inside his body. He thrashed about lost in his grief, in his fear and terror, finding resistance was fast becoming impossible and tensing as he felt a body suddenly cover his own as his uncle took position above him

preparing to enter him forcefully. He screamed again jumping when another shot pierced the air and his uncle released a loud cry of pain. He jerked towards the new source staring in surprise as he saw Katherine take aim demanding, “Move away from him. Now Frank. Move away from Daniel. NOW!”

He awoke to the sounds of moaning interspersed with pleading. As the voice registered he snapped his eyes open gazing at the man curled up against him, slowly tossing his head and thrashing about. Nightmares. He was dreaming again. Determined to calm and soothe the one with him Jack quieted his voice saying, “Daniel. Daniel, relax. Relax love. Go to sleep. You’re safe. You’re safe now. No one’s going to hurt you. No one do you hear? Daniel, shh…hush.”

He began to slowly comb his fingers through Daniel’s hair and noticed the tension in the man beginning to slowly leak away urging him to continue to speak softly, “Shh, you’re safe now Daniel. You’re safe love. No one’s going to hurt you. You’re safe Daniel…”

He jumped unexpectedly when Daniel’s eyes snapped open and he drew upright nearly screaming as he immediately reached for his shoulder clutching it as if in pain while starting to slowly rock hissing and squeezing his eyes tightly shut. Jack automatically began reaching for Daniel thinking better of it when his lover continued to softly groan. He was momentarily confused by the response until he recalled Layla’s past complaints of Daniel…overusing his shoulder and injuring it again.

Daniel’s soft utterance of “Shit!” halted Jack’s thoughts as he was drawn once again towards those sounds wanting nothing more than to ease the suffering of the one he loved.

Daniel awoke with a start immediately grabbing for his shoulder as pain flared up in it. He hesitantly gripped the muscle and clenched his eyes tightly shut as it began to tingle. He began carefully working the muscle trying to massage it and make it more pliable beneath his fingers unable to do anything more then hold his now useless arm against his chest.

His shoulder hadn’t seized up on him so badly in a very long time and he wanted to curse forgetting just how much pain the old injury could afford him. He was so focused inward that he didn’t even hear Jack insistently saying his name until after the fourth time he used it. Bringing his head up he focused his gaze on Jack who was gently prompting, “Are you all right Daniel?”

Releasing a soft moan he answered in a tight voice, “Yeah, fine. Leave me alone Jack. Please.”

“You’re not fine. It’s your shoulder isn’t it?”

Daniel jerked his gaze up again staring intently at Jack ready to speak when he caught sight of Jack reaching for his arm. His instant reaction was to snap, “DON’T! Don’t touch it. Please Jack, don’t!”

Jack halted his hand in midair becoming even more worried for his lover than prior asking, “Daniel…?”

“Please Jack just…just go. I’ll be fine. It’ll pass.”

“I’ll go but only to get Layla.”

He started to rise when Daniel attempted to halt him, “No Jack it’s late. Please don’t disturb her.”

“I’ll be back.”

“Jack…”

As he left the room Daniel sighed in frustration before returning his focus to the pain slicing at him from his shoulder. As it seemed to increase he squeezed his eyes tightly shut forcing back the images, the memories now trying to invade and tensing when he heard her soft voice fill the room as she spoke his name before settling on the bed next to him, hushing him, urging him to remove his hand so that she could get a better look at his shoulder.

He opened his eyes focusing intently on her as he said, “Layla you shouldn’t have come…”

“Oh hush now and allow me to help ease your pain.”

“Layla…”

“Daniel…”

He swallowed hard lowering his gaze as he nodded in consent. She then carefully pushed the sleeve of his shirt down before placing her hands on the old injury. Daniel tensed further, jarring as she began to gently work the muscle between her agile fingers. He gasped whimpering softly as the pain seemed only to escalate and stared in shock when another hand encompassed his free hand. As he focused on the owner of that hand he was surprised to see Jack at his other side offering comfort while looking pained and concerned. He offered his lover a weak smile as he informed, “Don’t worry, Jack. This happens a lot. I’m kind of used to it now.”

Jack frowned intensely setting his lips into a grim line as he watched Daniel’s facial expressions as Layla continued her ministrations. He swallowed hard when Daniel released a low growl of pain while reflexively squeezing his hand extremely tight. Layla immediately spoke, “Shh hush, hush little one and relax. I need you to relax.”

Daniel only managed a tight, “Hurts…” in reply to her request.

“I know, my precious one, I know but it is only temporary. Relax. Relax for me.”

Daniel nodded trying to do as her soft voice bid glancing at Jack when he began to unconsciously rub his thumb across the top of his hand. He offered Jack another shaky smile prompting the man to further inquire, “How long have you had…?”

“Since I was a teenager Jack.”

“What…what happened?”

Immediately Layla jerked her head up gazing in concern at Daniel then turning a scolding gaze Jack’s way probably meant to chastise him for prying. He ignored her focusing solely on Daniel and awaiting his answer.

Daniel swallowed hard managing “When my master punished me he’d…he’d often secure my hands above my head, over a beam…he’d leave me there sometimes hours, days…”

Layla focused intently on Daniel somewhat surprised that he was speaking of what had happened in his past. She became worried for him as Jack gently prodded, “When he…whipped you, Daniel?”

“Yes Jack. He…one time he…he was so angry that he…he secured my arms behind my back then secured rope…threaded it up over a beam, pulled my arms above my head… I…it was the most painful position I had ever been in. I believe it’s called a…”

Jack blanched as he provided, “A Palistinian hanging?”

Daniel only nodded. Jack felt ill before managing, “That’s illegal now…”

“No, not here it isn’t.”

“It was labeled inhumane Daniel.”

“Yeah well… My shoulder hasn’t been the same since. It acts up, pains me. Sometimes I…I can’t even move it.”

“Ah Daniel I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Daniel shook his head in dismissal releasing a quiet moan of relief that prompted Layla to ask, “How does that feel Daniel?”

“Better, still tense, still burns but not so much.”

“Good. Good. You just relax and I’ll have you feeling better in no time, little one.”

Daniel smiled softly nodding. Jack interrupted, “Wow she’s good.”

“She’s been tending to my shoulder since I first acquired the injury Jack.”

Jack nodded glad to hear that someone was there for Daniel throughout his life. He smiled broadly before asking, “Do you mind telling me what triggered the pain?”

Daniel broke eye contact gazing at the floor before managing, “Nightmares again. This time of…of death and…”

“Death?”

Daniel nodded before continuing, “The one’s who risked everything to save me. Do you remember me speaking of them Jack?”

“Yes the one’s you said gave their lives for you? The Littlefield’s.”

Daniel only nodded before adding, “On that last night, the night he… He captured me again, abducted me, secured me to a bed and planned to… They stopped him Jack. They killed the bastard, but in the process he…he killed them too. I was the only one left alive. Death, it was everywhere Jack, all around me. I…that was the day I vowed never to let anyone ever get close to me again. I was determined that no one would ever…that I would never love again because it hurt, it hurt too much to love…”

Jack moved to encompass Daniel in his arms holding him close as he repeated his earlier words, “I’m so sorry Daniel, so very sorry.”

Daniel returned the hug as he replied, “I know you are Jack. I know you are.”

Layla remained quiet sitting beside Daniel continuing to massage his shoulder and smiling brightly as she was assured that Daniel would be all right now. In accepting Jack O’Neill into his life, into his heart he had defeated his uncle’s evil and she was very happy for him. The boy who had been so lost was now grown and now he would truly begin to live…

* * * * * *

EPILOGUE

“Ah so nice of you to join us. So sorry your husband was unable to remain. He just got in the way.”

He watched Katherine as she briefly focused on her husband before turning again to face him the only indication of her grief was the odd pallor of her face, other than that she glared with a deadly intent flaring in her eyes. Again she demanded, “Get away from Daniel.”

He smiled lecherously before absently stroking Daniel’s face like one would a pet softening his voice as he answered, “Oh, I think Danny much prefers me here.”

Noting the thin veil of self-control Daniel was maintaining and his closeness to the edge of panic Katherine leveled the gun cocking it before demanding, “Move away from Daniel. NOW!”

Frank slowly complied releasing Daniel only after whispering something in his ear that made him blanch and practically collapse in hysterics. No doubt a promise to return and finish what he had started, but she’d be damned if she’d allow that bastard to touch

Daniel again. She’d kill him first.

Katherine was so distracted by the quivering of Daniel’s body, the fear in his eyes, the near panic he seemed to be choking back that she was unaware Frank drew so near until he lunged at her. The only warning was Daniel’s scream of her name. It was enough, enough to force her hand. She aimed and fired hearing Daniel’s shrill scream as panic and shock nearly consumed him. A struggle ensued and her gaze quickly sought out Daniel’s as another shot rang out and pain filled her body. She heard Daniel’s shrill scream, saw him manage to get up, saw his uncle turn around and grab him forcefully by the hair and press his lips brutally against Daniel’s after cruelly informing, “You’re mine now, Danny boy, all mine,” buying her the precious seconds she needed to bury the weapon deep into his gut and fire.

Daniel froze, in shock as his uncle’s face contorted in pain, a silent scream fleeing as blood ran out of the evil man’s mouth, choked off by the inhalation of his last breath. As Frank Jackson fell dead before her she breathed a sigh of relief grabbing Daniel, pulling him close as she uttered through painful gasps, “You’re free now, Daniel. Don’t, don’t blame yourself for we die protecting the one we love, our precious son, you’re free now. Be happy,” with those final words spoken Katherine Littlefield’s eyes slid shut and she breathed no more. The only sound that could be heard in the room was Daniel’s painful inhalations of breath, as tears stole all other actions and he remained holding her rocking her steadily, mourning the loss of all those he held dear.

It was several hours before Katherine’s brother entered seeing the carnage, the death all in the room except one lone man-child silently weeping and rocking, also bloody, bruised, naked except for those marks of cruelty placed on him by an uncle who wanted nothing more then to rape and beat him to death.

The story never made it in any papers. In fact very few knew of the events of that day, the day that one man-child vowed never to love again, vowed never to allow anyone close to him again for fear they too would die.

The day Frank Jackson disappeared the child who had lost everything made a vow, a promise to continue what the Littlefield’s had begun, and made the first step towards fulfilling that promise by approaching the master he had fled wearing a robe that concealed his face and taking on the identity of one very scarred man as he purchased his very first slave for his home.

He had been so scared, afraid, terrified he’d be recognized but he was determined, for if he failed to convince Lomax of his new identity then he’d never be able to shed his old life. The day she was brought to him was one of the hardest he had ever faced for he couldn’t reveal who he was until they entered his new home. She was terrified until he slowly lowered the hood concealing his face, told her to look at him and uttered two words, “You’re free,” before enveloping her in his arms unable to stop the tears of joy as she released a choked sob before wrapping her arms around him saying only, “My precious one,” as she had again finally held the child of her heart in her arms…

The brand would always be there, a permanent reminder to him of what he was in the world. He was an escaped slave, one that was being searched for even now. None of the villagers remembered the young boy who had served Master Lomax and when the father died the son took over his place. Daniel’s identity would be forever protected now, unless that brand was seen. Everyone knew the brand of Lomax’s and every one of his slaves bore a similar mark. It hadn’t changed much through the years. In fact after the son took over his father’s estate he kept the brand the same intent on holding onto a recognizable, distinguishable mark, one that every person in the area, in the country would recognize. She bore a similar mark but like Daniel’s hers was well hidden, of course hers was no longer valid seeing as she had been purchased by a new master, it just so happened that her new master was also the child of her heart who had merely done so to acquire her freedom and upon completion of the sale had destroyed all evidence that even pointed to her as being a slave. Unfortunately for Daniel his true identity was never eradicated, for an escaped slave’s name was never forgotten. Daniel however had been lucky. No one knew his last name. He had lost the name when he became a slave. His uncle had made certain of that, a way to ensure that Daniel Jackson had no connections to anyone or anything. Unfortunately for the greedy bastard he could never hijack Daniel’s inheritance and no one would ever remember the uncle who sold his nephew into a life of indentured servitude, that too had vanished the day his uncle was murdered and the files on him mysteriously…disappeared.

As far as anyone knew Frank Jackson never existed even his tombstone remained bare, in fact nothing marked the grave of one Frank Jackson for none had ever been placed on his grave. No one cared that he had passed on. No one attended his funeral. No one cared that he was no more. He after all was an evil bastard who deserved no less, unfortunately he wasn’t dead to everyone for he still lived on in Daniel and he still had the power to instill fear in the boy he had reared for such a short time. Daniel’s parents would have been outraged had they known the kind of man their precious son had ended up with. Had they known the things Frank Jackson put their son through they would have hunted him down and killed him their selves. Daniel had been lucky. He had been taken in by a loving older couple, by two people who defended and protected him, two people who educated him, who gave him a second chance at life…two people he owed his entire existence to. It was a shame that two such upstanding people had to die so violently, but at least they died knowing that the boy they took in would be forever free of the monster that had owned him. Their memory, their legacy lived on in Daniel Jackson, in the boy who became a man and strove to save others from the fate that had befallen him, a man who learned to love again and taught others how to become who they were meant to be, not who others expected them to be and that was a legacy worth passing.

**The End **

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