Masks of Protection: Part 5

By: Stacy L.

She watched him from the doorway not surprised to see him on the porch. She often saw him there gazing into the distance. Today his gaze was focused and as she spotted her adopted daughter in the gardens she knew just where. He was watching her again. Why? Why did he watch her so intently, sometimes for hours at a time?

When she had first noticed his peculiar interest in her stepdaughter she had been afraid, had been determined to flee with her if he so much as went near her. She didn’t trust him. She didn’t trust men, but frankly she had nowhere to go and no idea of what he would do to her if she fled. She toyed with the notion for some time but decided that it was much too risky for her and for Cassie, realizing sadly that she was choice less. Her only available option other than fleeing at present was to watch him closely, to observe his every move, his every action when watching her daughter and when with her daughter. As she did so what she saw, what she discovered had surprised, still did surprise, her. He watched Cassie often but she never saw lust or desire in his eyes. What she saw was worry, concern and a fierce protectiveness in that gaze. The more she watched him watch her the more certain she was that his only desire was to protect Cassie and keep her safe. Whatever the master felt towards Cassie she had to speak with him about it, but not yet. No she’d speak with him when she felt a little less afraid of him.

As she watched him now she wondered what went through his mind. What did he see when he watched Cassie? What did he think about? Why did he watch her and why did he seem as if he’d die to protect her? Who was Daniel Jackson? How did he become what he now was?

She remained silent watching him seeing that fierce protectiveness in him and felt compelled to speak with him. Without thought she approached slipping silently over to stand by his side before redirecting her gaze onto Cassie. He didn’t acknowledge that she was there, in fact she wondered if he even realized that she was and hesitated remaining silent for several moments before saying, “I see you watch her.”

Daniel didn’t turn, didn’t redirect his gaze only softly questioned, “Pardon?”

“Cassie. You watch her. Why? It’s obvious your intentions are honorable. You don’t watch her because you desire her. You watch her because you worry for her, like you do all the others but with Cassie it’s different. It’s almost as if…”

Without looking at Sam he continued to track Cassie’s movements through the gardens saying, “She’s so much like me you know.”

Sam gazed at Cassie then returned her focus to Daniel who was still watching her adoptive daughter with a protective gaze replying to his last comment, “No I don’t know.”

His response was a slight nod. She hesitated again uncertain before continuing, “Tell me something. How did you become… I mean how…? Never mind.”

Daniel turned his gaze towards her then as he responded, “How did I get here?”

She nodded and Daniel answered, “My mother and father were killed when I was very young, an accident while on a dig in Sudan.”

“An accident?”

“They were both scientists, archaeologists. They had discovered some ruins in Sudan, while exploring them they…died.”

“So what happened to you?”

“I ended up being taken under my uncle’s wing. He…raised me, grew angry with me and…sent me away. Layla found me, raised me for a time then I was taken in by an older couple. They were…killed too. When I turned twenty-one I inherited this place from my parents. They had put a clause in their will saying that I couldn’t inherit until then, a way to protect me from people seeking my fortune should they…die. I decided to continue what the Littlefield’s began.”

“Which was?”

“Rescuing slaves from their masters, educating them, offering them a place to stay and a new chance at life. It’s my way of repaying them for their kindness. I go to the auctions and I…I can’t save them all so I have to pick and choose. If I had more money I’d save them all, but as you no doubt have noticed I house a lot of people, people who can stay as long as they like. I protect them and offer them the chance that was once offered to me.”

Sam slowly processed what he was saying tensing as a realization crept in prompting her to say, “You? You were a…?”

Daniel acted as if he didn’t hear her returning his gaze to her adoptive daughter and choosing to ask, “Why doesn’t she talk? She knows how, but she can’t.”

Sam gazed at him seeing the pain there as he watched Cassie and answered, “She…saw her parents killed in front of her when she was eight.”

“Eight,” he only nodded before wrapping his arms protectively around himself prompting Sam to ask, “Are you all right?”

Daniel paused before admitting, “I was eight when it happened to me too.”

Sam shivered as she began to see some eerie similarities between his past and that of her adopted daughter’s. She shook her head before continuing, “I took her in and raised her. She’s never spoken though she does know the language she just can’t verbalize. The doctors called it a trauma-induced response. It’s stress related.”

Daniel closed his eyes briefly feeling the slightest ache in his bad shoulder and nodded as she continued, “She wants to talk I believe, but she’s scared. She…she tries but is unsuccessful. It frustrates her but she doesn’t know how to change it.”

“She’s still traumatized, you know.”

“Yes. She fears loss. Anyone she’s ever cared for she’s lost…”

As Daniel turned his head abruptly she became aware of yet another similarity between he and Cassie: he also feared loss. The instant she saw and recognized it he concealed it again returning his gaze to Cassie.

He was a definite enigma, a man with so many layers. A man with TOO MANY layers…

* *

Later…

“Cassie can I ask you something?”

The girl nodded smiling. Sam returned the smile before placing a caring hand on her shoulder and asking, “Tell me honestly. How do you feel about our master?”

She mouthed his name, “Daniel.”

“Yes, Daniel. Does he…scare you or…?”

Cassie shook her head, which surprised Sam, “You’re not afraid of him?”

Again the shake of her head, Sam relaxed more before asking, “Do you…trust him?”

She nodded shocking Sam again who immediately asked, “Why? Why would you trust him?”

Cassie held up a finger before retrieving her notepad and writing on it then handing it to Sam. Sam took it and gazed at the words on the page both scared and worried as she did: He has many secrets.

She gazed at Cassie who was watching her expectantly. As Cassie noted the tension in her adoptive mother she gripped Sam’s free hand drawing her gaze before shaking her head no and retrieving the notepad. She continued to scrawl across the pad before handing it back to Sam.

Sam read the words as her mind filled with questions: No, not bad secrets. He has suffered and understands how we feel. He understands us because of the secrets he hides.

“What secrets? What secrets does Daniel hide Cassie?”

She tensed as Cassie focused beyond her smiling and feared they had a visitor. As Daniel approached Cassie surprised her yet again by getting up and hugging him before gripping Daniel’s hand in her own and tugging him to her.

Daniel flushed before saying, “Uh, she just started…doing that recently. I didn’t…”

Sam shook her head and silence stretched between them for a span of several long seconds before Daniel broke it, “Wow this is…odd.”

“Yes.”

“I’m sorry. I heard you and…”

Without intending to Sam asked, “What secrets?”

Daniel tensed gazing anxiously at the floor before lifting his eyes to Sam saying, “You’ve been talking I see. What has she told you?”

That was it? A simple question? No anger, rage, malice, nothing? Shouldn’t he be angry because Cassie was talking about him, had revealed things he obviously intended not to reveal? Where was his anger? His rage? Where was it?

As if Daniel had been reading her mind he softly said, “You really don’t like me that much, do you? I understand. Believe me I understand more than you’ll ever know. I bought you, to you that means I control you, but Sam that’s not why I bought the two of you.”

As if Cassie had a sudden insight she thrust the pad in Sam’s hands startling her. When had she…? She gazed at what was written: See I told you. Then glanced at Cassie briefly before looking at Daniel again.

He continued, “My purpose in purchasing the two of you was, IS only to help you both.”

“So you say, but I still don’t understand why…and why does Cassie suddenly trust you?”

“Because she knows more about me than she should. She…she sees a lot for one so young.”

Sam gazed at Cassie who was now blushing but beaming at the compliment. Sam was amazed by the sight but made herself gaze at Daniel again before managing, “Just what does she know about you?”

Silence fell between them before Daniel replied, “That my life wasn’t always as easy as people believe it was.”

“What the hell’s that supposed to mean?” gasping as she realized she snapped at her master, Sam quickly stumbled over an apology that Daniel halted in mid-delivery, “NO! Don’t apologize to me. You’re entitled to do as you wish that includes speaking to me as you wish.”

Feeling frustrated she squeaked, “But why?”

“Because that’s what I want from you.”

“What?”

“To become the person you should be, not the person another molds you into.”

She fell silent uncertain how to respond to that statement, finding she didn’t know what else to say. Daniel filled the awkward silence yet again, “I told you like I tell everyone I bring here that this is a sanctuary, a place to heal, to grow, to mature, to become the person you are meant to be not the person another wants you to be. You can stay here if you like or leave if you so choose. You can leave at any time and I won’t hunt you down. No one will. You’re free. If you choose to stay you’re still free. All I ask in return is to respect the others. If you see someone struggling or in need of aid help them. We work together here, as a team. These people are not my slaves. They are my friends. At one time they were slaves then I rescued them. Now they are family. They stay because they want to. They stay because that’s what they WANT to do. Many have left and are doing well. If they need finances I send them what I can, some never contact me again while others always do. It’s their choice, their decision. I gave them that opportunity. I gave them that choice and I ask nothing in return.”

“But why? I don’t… No one would do what you’re doing unless…”

“They’ve been there themselves and understand what it’s like.”

“Exactly and you…”

“What?”

“Well you never… You…”

“The truth is you don’t know because you don’t know me. You don’t understand me. You don’t know and that is where you and Cassie are different because she knows. She knows what my life was like. She knows. She understands why I do what I do for others. You on the other hand don’t and never took the time to learn, but that’s okay. I understand and…”

“NO! How can you understand? HOW? You’ve never been beaten, never been lashed for insubordination or struggled to find food, to stay warm. You’ve never gone without clothes or shelter… You’ve never been stripped of everything, stripped bear…”

She felt Cassie’s hands on her and looked at Cassie who was shaking her head violently. She didn’t understand and turned back continuing, “You’ve never been tied down, forced to endure another touching you, pawing at you, demanding things you refuse to yield… You’ve never been robbed of your dignity, your name, your title…NEVER!”

Daniel nodded as he noticed the anger beginning to dissipate in Sam and when she was able to hear him again he asked one simple question that lingered between them with a haunting intensity, “Haven’t I?”

He then turned and walked away leaving Sam to gape at his retreating back. She was shocked, stunned actually and had no idea how to react to what had just occurred. As if Cassie sensed the inner turmoil now gripping her step-mother she hugged her smiling when Sam gazed at her unable to speak of what she was presently experiencing. Instead she uttered three soft words, “Thank you Cassie,” before they headed to the dining room for supper.

* *

As consciousness returned he tensed recalling the events that had taken place prior to now. He remained still barely breathing, afraid to move much as he had done when in his uncle’s care…when in his uncle’s…? SHIT!

He tensed further becoming suddenly aware of his present state of undress. He unconsciously yanked on his wrists hearing the clanking sound of metal hitting metal and feeling the sudden all too familiar dip in the mattress beside him as the one with him lowered to it before brushing a hand across his face and breathlessly saying, “Still beautiful, so, so beautiful. I’ve missed you Danny, so, so much.”

As the nickname entered the still air Daniel felt as if ice suddenly encompassed his heart squeezing the breath out of him and making speech nearly impossible. All he could manage was a soft quiet, “No…no, no, no…”

“Hmm running from your master is a crime dear sweet Danny, didn’t you know that? Lomax is no doubt still searching for you, but I found you first and now? Now we can finish what we began so many years ago…”

He kept his eyes closed focusing on trying to calm his breathing and relax. If he could calm then he could think and that was better than just lying here waiting for the inevitable touches and strokes that would no doubt quickly lead to rape. Oh God, he had to get away. He had to. Why? Why out of all those whose paths he could have crossed did he have to come across that of Frank Jackson’s? Why? Why the uncle who wanted nothing more than to own him, control him and steal his inheritance out from under him? Why?

He flinched as he felt lips hard and demanding press against his own and automatically reacted by jerking away. He expected blows next, that was his uncle’s usual means of coercion and control, to beat him when he refused to comply, to restrict his freedom when he refused to yield. Instead laughter filled the air around him, cold manic laughter that made his fear triple in its intensity reminding him of the last time he had heard it…

Their last encounter had been intense. His uncle had beaten him and laughed as he forced him to crawl to the bathroom, of course as battered as he had been there was no way he could have walked even if he had tried. After that he was allowed little time to adjust as he was handed over to the auctioneer to be presented to a room full of men all wanting to purchase new slaves for their labor camps. He had heard that manic laughter then as his uncle stood back stage watching him take his first step onto the auction block. After that day he never saw his uncle again until he was grabbed and dragged here. Now, now he laid spread eagled on his back, chained to the bed hand and foot, naked, as his uncle no doubt ogled him from head to toe. He wanted to retch, he wanted to scream, he wanted to kill, he needed to escape for if he didn’t he knew what his fate would soon become.

Daniel jolted awake, a scream on the edge of his lips, his breathing rapid and a thin layer of sweat covering his face. He squeezed his eyes shut as he attempted to regain a normal breathing pattern while trying to assess his present situation. As he began to relax he became aware that he was sitting upright, no chains encompassed his wrists or ankles and clothes still remained on his body. He drew in a calming breath before daring to open his eyes feeling relief wash through him as he recognized the now dimmed interior of his own room. A dream, it had been another dream this time brought on no doubt by the discussion he and Sam had shared earlier in the evening. She had asked him how he could possibly understand her if he had never been tied down or forced to endure another’s touch upon his body. Had she known about the nightmare that was his childhood she would have never accused him, for he knew what it was like to be made to submit to another, to be forced to accept another’s touch, another’s demands. He knew so well what it was like to be forced to give your body, yourself to another or face death for refusing. He knew all too well what those experiences were like, but he couldn’t tell her that. He couldn’t tell anyone that. Only one person knew, one person that still drew breath knew of his checkered past. She was the only one who knew all his secrets and he was determined to keep it that way. No one else needed to know and no one else ever would. Those secrets would stay buried in him and they would die with him.

PART 6

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